The Stranger In Your Life - by Subroto

I often ask this question to people: “Who played the most important part in bringing you to this world when you were born?’’ Invariably, people are at a loss to answer. Many people reply that it was their mother. Nothing could be more incorrect. Because, chances are, she was quite unconscious and unable to handle you as you were being delivered. The new born, on delivery, is always picked up by someone who holds the baby upside down and pats the back so that the lungs begin to breathe, to signal the first act of independence. Yet, most of us grow up to forget how much we owe that one individual, whose act of complete involvement becomes the cornerstone on which every other reality of our living rests. How many of us know the name of that person? She who asked our tiny pair of lungs to welcome life into the little body is not remembered in most cases—probably one in a million would ever go back to her to say, “Thank you; without you I would not
have come to this world.’’ There is a huge lesson in that one act played by someone who recedes into uncomplaining anonymity. She remains a stranger.

What is the role of such strangers in our lives? It is a matter worthy of reflection. As is this one thought: how good a stranger am I?

The thought has followed me for many years. In 1992, when I was setting up Wipro’s international operations with meagre resources, Tom Best, a customer at Sun left his job and moved to Novell in Salt Lake City, Utah. As soon as he joined his new employer, he called us. “Could we set up an inter-operability lab at Novell?’’ It was a god-send. While we wanted to grab the opportunity, we had no ground support in Utah. We knew no one there and needed help. Tom gave me the reference of a lady, a professional mover, who had helped him with his relocation. It was winter, and the snow had moved in. We had no spending capability, and needed to get a team operational immediately. I asked my colleague Subroto Mukerjee to meet the lady. Subroto arrived there and what happened next blew us off our feet. The lady took charge of everything, and in two days, Subroto was able to tie up all the details. All this while, we had been nervous that if she were to bill
us for her efforts, we would be unable to pay her. In the end, Subroto asked her, with trepidation, what we owed her. “Nothing,’’ she replied. That was the last we saw of her.

Many years after that, I met a young Chinese gentleman who was visiting Bangalore for the first time. He did not know anyone, and had no hotel reservation. On alighting at the airport, he struck up a chance conversation with a co-passenger who, upon learning about his predicament, despite being jetlagged himself and under severe time pressure, took him to three different hotels, helped him check in at one, and then left. The Chinese visitor was amazed subsequently to learn that the man who did that for him was none other than Dr Sridhar Mitta, who was at that time the chief technology officer at Wipro. He realised who his angel was only when he came to call on him at his office. Until then the two had not even exchanged proper introductions..

In my own life, when I look back at all the golden turns, each one has been signalled by a person whom I have never known personally, someone who expected nothing from me, and had no personal benefit from my success. They all came unsolicited, played their angelic part, and quietly left the scene like the lady at Salt Lake City. When I look for them today, they are as faded as a woman named ‘Dandor-ma’ (Such people never had names they were always referred to as someone’s wife or mother. Her name meant ‘mother of Dando, the boy’), the illiterate, lower-caste midwife who assisted my mother as I was born in a small-town government quarter 48 years back.

As we grow up and seek success, at every step and each turn, we seek the familiar. We look for comfort in familiarity and seek sameness. Is there a lesson delivered to us right at birth that we all forget? Just as a stranger helped me take my first breath, is the next great thing in my life, being held upside down by a stranger? And by the same token, how good a stranger am I to the world around?

Avoid the Four F's Syndrome to human beings Life

Most People resist change and often don't take steps to elevate their lives, even when they have opportunities to do so. There are well and commonly identified four commonfactors that people get easily influenced by.

FEAR is insecurity of unknown things. Every Human being wants to be certain and sure about what he is doing. We don't want to try anything new with the fear of losing it. The key here is to manage the fear by doing every single thing that frightens us. That's the best way to destroy fear completely. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

FAILURE: No one wants to fail. So most of us don't even try. Take a step to improve very thing around. Life's Only failure is when you don't try at all. Take that small step and try. Failure is just an essential part of realizing success. Remember, there can be no success without failure.

There is only one thing that can put you further ahead than success, and that is failure. When you are successful, you are whole and complete. That is wonderful, but with wholeness you cannot break out beyond your own universe. When you fail, you are broken. You look at the pieces of yourself lying on the ground and say, 'This is worthless. I must go beyond this.' Now you can escape. Now you can grow to join the Infinite. The shell is broken, the shell of a created being.

FOCUS: We Plan things according to our conveniences but as soon as we deal with he realities of life we forget our plans and commitments towards everything related to us. Keep your commitments on the top of your mind..Just remember, better awareness choices. Better choices-better results. Keep your self promises front and center.

FAITH: Many people don't have faith. They are pessimists. For them all kinds of efforts are baseless and are put in vain. That's how they meet disappointments often and do not know how to deal with them. Have faith in whatever you do or believe, no matter how frequently you keep meeting disappointments.

Faith in our self, indeed, relates to that which is above us, but it must arise from that which is within us. Its Like Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered the door. And lo,
no one was there outside!!!

Take a Chance, life is a One time Game.Play it and Win it.

STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

Stress Management
is more than anger management and relaxation. It is self management.
There are many different ways to manage stress. I have compiled the
various stress management
techniques that are simple and most effective to follow and practice.
Please feel free to use as many as you can, keeping an open mind, so
you can have a collection of techniques that are the most effective for
you.

Feel Good about your Self


Take Care of your Body


Develop the Right Attitude


Develop the Right Environment


Short Tips for Busy People



1. Feel Good about your Self

If
you want to bring down your level of stress level in a matter of
minutes, these techniques will help you. Use them as needed to feel
better quickly; practice them regularly over time and gain even greater
benefits.
Ø Deep Breathing from the Abdomen
Ø Meditation
Ø Having a dose of Laughter
Ø Progressive Muscular Relaxation
Ø Listening to light music
Ø Practicing Yoga
Ø Aerobic Exercises
Ø Creative Visualization

2. Take Care of Body

When
we're stressed, we don't always take care of our bodies, which can lead
to even more stress. Here are some important ways to take care of
yourself and keep stress levels lower.
Ø Eat Healthy low fats â€" high protein meals
Ø Have six to eight hours of regular sleep
Ø Exercise regularly
Ø Develop a Hobby
Ø Have healthy Sex Life

3. Develop the Right Attitude

Attitude
plays a great role in managing stress. Much of your experience of
stress has a lot to do with your attitude and the way you perceive your
life's events. Here are some resources to help you maintain a
stress-relieving attitude.
Ø Let go your Ego
Ø Have a Optimistic approach to life
Ø Do not react under pressure
Ø Stop Worrying about things not in your control
Ø Accept that everything cannot be perfect
Ø Find an opportunity in every problem
Ø Say good things to your self â€" affirmations
Ø Have a health sense of humour

4. Develop the Right Environment

Having
ambiance and pleasant environment make stress management very easy.
Your physical and emotional surroundings can impact your stress levels
in subtle but significant ways. Here are several ways you can change
your atmosphere and less your stress.
Ø Clutter free home, office and working desk
Ø Green and Clean surrounding
Ø Light instrumental music
Ø Motivational Posters
Ø Words of Wisdom

5. Short Tips for Busy People

Busy
People add a lot of stress to their already stressed life. People who
may have more stressors in their lives is because they have more
activity in their lives, and less time to devote to stress management.
If you're a busy person, these resources can help you to manage stress
efficiently in a short amount of time, and eliminate some of what's
causing you stress in the first place.
Ø Time Management Tips
Ø Communication Skills
Ø Listening Skills
Ø Managing Priorities
Ø Enhancing Team Work
Ø Enhancing People Skills

BEING IN TWENTIES - SOMETHING... :)

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that
there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not
like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year
or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is
that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you
would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that
you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that
you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding
things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute,
you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone
and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and
cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is
drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such
damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone
decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing
this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle
down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the
shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special
someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go
through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We
are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we
can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something
friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in
their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"

The cookies story

This is a very interesting message about paradigm(accepted perspective)shift.

Imagine you're in London's Heathrow Airport. While you're waiting for
your flight, you notice a kiosk selling shortbread cookies. You buy a
box, put them in your travelling bag and then you patiently search for
an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally
you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your
travelling bag and pull out your box of shortbread cookies. As you do
so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely.

He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick
up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and
takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a
little surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not
only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one
cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's
got some nerve! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe
this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both
continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your
surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something
unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's
finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, "Did this really happen?" You're left sitting
there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy
another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening
your new box of cookies when suddenly you glance down into your
travelling bag. Sitting there, in your bag is your original box of
cookies.........still unopened.

Only then you do realize that when you reached down earlier, you had
reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by
mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've
just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a
new point of view.

Is it time to change your point of view? Now, think of this story as it
relates to your life. Seeing things from a new point of view can be
very enlightening. Think outside the box. Don't settle for the status
quo. Be open to suggestions. Things may not be what they seem. Unless
and until, one realizes about the fact, no one will change his or her
view of thinking in spite of lot of external factors.

Every Point has THREE Sides; Your Side, My Side and The Right Side. To
understand either the Other's Side or the Right Side, one needs to
leave His Side.

Touching life story

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's
showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man
opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you
give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?

LET ME LOVE YOU

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this
girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his
future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one
day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She
also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so
let's go their own ways there and then... Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his
body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these
hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own
company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make
it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing
an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella,
they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his
ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove
slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He
wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company,
car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and
he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a
photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... And
he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb.

Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened.
They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill
with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... Therefore she had
chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if
the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those
back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be
sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see
them again.

A Small Story

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's
office.

Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.Lawyer was very puzzled, after
having a chat with them, he got their story....

This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing
ever seems to go right.They hang on because of their children, afraid that
it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already
grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to
worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these
years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt
that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why
the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..

"I really love u, but I really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."

"Its o.k, I understand.." said the husband. Look in at this, the lawyer
suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since
they are still gonna be friends..

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkwardness.

The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the
drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the
wife was frowning when she answer.."This is always the problem, you always
think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don't you know
that I hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all
ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's
favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at
all, little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants
is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and
turn...after hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he
still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back,
he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "I love you"...

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never
stops..he never stop dialing....On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't
understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her
at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's
ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of
talking now that its over...I have ask for it and now I wanna keep it this
way, if not I will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have
decided to pull out the cord... Little did she remember, he have heart
problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to
his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the
phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her
phone line....

As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she
was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the
day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in
those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer
around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I
hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we
got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to
continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live
longer. I want you to know Iwill always be around, by your side... I love
you"

Tears flowed like river......

"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the
next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other.
For who they are.. Not what they are..."

Value of parents

A father was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a
crow".
time, What is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son
the 2nd time, "What is this?"


The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd
This
time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same
question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A
little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old
tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On
opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read
it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today
my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow
was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I
replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly
each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times.
I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent
child".

While
the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt
no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when
today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son
felt irritated and annoyed..

So..

If
your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a
burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble
and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.
From
today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They
have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always
showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
Say
a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will
say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they
behave.

Education makes people easy to lead but difficult to drive, Easy to govern but impossible to enslave.

Story of Two Screws

Once upon a time there were two screws fastening a vital part of a gasoline
engine. One of the screws was haughty and proud of it's shining head. The
second screw was quiet, intent only on doing its job to the best of its
ability.

One day a speck of rust appeared on the head of the second screw. Filled
with vain pride of its own beauty, the first screw began to laugh at the
second. "Your head is tarnished," the first said to the second. "Look at
you. Your perfect luster is gone."

The second screw said nothing. Instead, it concentrated on what it was
doing. "How ugly you have become," the first screw chortled, "and how
beautiful I have remained." Then it began to laugh so hard at the second
screw that it failed to notice that it was working itself loose. Finally it
dropped off the engine and plunged into a small pool of dirty oil below.

With the first screw no longer holding up its end of the load, the second
was faced with doing the work of two. Meanwhile the first screw, now covered
with grimy oil, wailed and lamented. "Just look at me! I'm dirty and filthy
and all my beauty is gone. By laughing at the blemish on my friend the
second screw, I worked myself loose and fell into the muck. Now I'm doomed."

Now, it just so happened that a short time later the owner of the engine
started it up. He immediately noticed that something didn't sound right --
the engine was running rough. When he checked, he instantly saw that one of
the two screws holding the vital part was missing. "Ah ha!" the owner said.
"One of the screws must have worked itself loose and fell to the ground, but
I don't see it. Maybe it fell into that puddle of old oil."

The owner reached into the oil and found the missing screw. "Look at you,"
the owner said. "You're all covered with grime and oil. How ugly you are.
But I will fix that right away." The owner reached for a nearby rag and
wiped all the oil and grime off the first screw until it shone even brighter
than before. Then he replaced it on the part. Before he turned away, he
noticed a little speck of tarnish on the head of the second screw. With the
second rag, he wiped the head clean and bright. Then the owner walked away.

Finally the engine was started. The two screws, now equally beautiful, held
the part tight. "Forgive me, my friend," the first screw said to the second.
"In my vanity, I was so busy laughing at your blemish that I did not notice
that I was working myself loose."

"And what have you learned?" the second screw quietly asked.
"I learned not to judge others because I have my own sins to deal with."
"Then," the second screw said, "I forgive you."

"Thank you, my friend. And rest assured, my vanity will remain forever at
the bottom of that dirty puddle of oil."

The Master

When one Guru was dying, one of his disciple asked him "Guruji, who was your
master?"He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names
it will take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will
certainly tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a village
it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one man who was
trying to make a hole in t he wall of a house. I asked him where I could
stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be difficult, but you can
say with me - if you can stay with a thief'.And the man was so beautiful. I
stayed for one month! And each night he would say to me, 'Now I am going to
my work. You rest, you pray.' When he came back I would ask 'Could you get
anything?' He would say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God
willing.' He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy.
When I was meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was
happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate, so
hopeless,that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I would
remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing, tomorrow it is
going to happen.'

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and a dog
came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw another dog
there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would bard and run away, but
his thirst was so much that he would come back. Finally, despite his fear,
he just jumped into the water, and the image disappeared. And I knew that a
message had come to me from God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child was
carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the candle there.
Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'Have you lit the candle yourself?' He said,'Yes
sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when the candle was unlit, then there
was a moment when the candle was lit. Can you show me the source from which
the light came?' And the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now
you have seen the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!'

My ego was shattered, my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I
felt my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledge ability.

It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a
disciple -- I accepted the whole existence as my master. My Disciple hood was
a greater involvement than yours is. I trusted the clouds, the trees. I
trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had millions of masters
I learned from every possible source. To be a disciple is a must on the
path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It means to be able to learn. To
be available to learn to be vulnerable to existence. With a master you start
learning to learn.

The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to swim. Once you have
learned, all the oceans are yours."